7:15am- I’m doing okay this morning.  Today the pain in my chest is a little less.  It may be the pep talk with a good friend this morning.  I’ve learned I need to talk about my problems.  I also need to write my problems down.  I know Julia Cameron’s book the Artist’s Way has helped me.    Maybe I need to go have an artist date.  I could go to the park and draw trees.  Chloe needs to get out as well.  I don’t know how many times I can say it writing helps!

8:00am-  Another thing that helps is digging in the dirt!!! There is something about being outside.  The smell of the dirt that clears your head.  I may go out and clear out my gardens today.  Grief is like a roller coaster.  Some days you are fine.  Others you just want to hide under a blanket.  Those broken pieces of your heart just want to fly away. Today I feel positive and want to fight that depression.

8:46-  I got ready for my walk, but now I am having anxiety about walking out the door.  What is wrong with me.  I feel fine one minute.  Then I fall into one of those wholes left by my husbands.  What the #%* Stupid roller coaster!!! I want to get off!!!  There is a nervous feeling in my stomach.  I want to throw up!  I think I get like this when my daughters are gone.  I need them as a distraction.  I need another pep talk!  Just go outside.  Stick your hands in the dirt.

2:51pm- I made it outside to dig in the dirt some.  Then I went to visit one of my few Catholic friends in town.  I walked to her store where she made me a shake.  She gave me another pep talk.  I need these pep talks to throughout my day.  God knew what people I need in my life.  Then I walked over to City Hall to pay my utilities bill.  I love that I live in such a small town that I can just walk all over.  The girls will be home in 15 minutes.  They keep me so busy that I don’t have time to just sit and think.  Thank you God for my girls.