Spring Break might just have to be full of night pages.  Our mornings have been pretty busy.  My daughters and I went to brunch with my sister in-law Kelly and all my nieces and nephew.  Then to the Science Museum.  Spring Break is not the best time to be at any museum or zoo! It was the craziest place I have ever been.  When the girls were little we would go during the week.  It wasn’t busy at all.  I miss those days with my babies and my mom’s group.  I thought I was busy then.  Ha!!! I was not busy at all!! Now I am busy with homework, house work, soccer and dance.

I need a job.  Now that I am a home owner.  It would be nice to go somewhere during the day.  It would help to keep my mind busy while the girls are at school.  It would make me even more busy.  Busy isn’t a bad thing.  It keeps me from thinking about how I have lost two husbands in eight years.  How I have to take care of my girls and my self.  Last time I think I concentrated on finding another husband to take care of the girls and I.  This time I need to take care of us.  I need a career.  I need to go back to school.  Get my masters in Art History.  Maybe even my doctorate.  Do I do that in Noble or in my home town?  I feel like I need to go back home.  Be closer to my family. Let my family help take care of us.  No! I have to take care of us.  I can’t be in Noble without Travis.  The reason I went to Noble was for Travis.  To be closer to his job.

I don’t even want to think anymore.  I don’t have time to have a breakdown. I should be depressed.  I should be in a ball rocking in a corner depressed.  People would understand if I was depressed.  I lost two husbands.  I really don’t have time for a breakdown.  So I just keep going with my happy face.  I can make it until tomorrow.