It has been awhile since I posted a new blog.  I have been doing really well.  Summer is flying by.  The girls have already been to two Vacation Bible schools and three camps between the two of them.  Two more camps to go before school starts in the fall.

I got a new job teaching art at a private school.  That starts next month.  I am so excited!  I have been planning away on lessons.  I have never taught five grade levels at once.  This will keep me busy this year.

Busy is good.  Busy keeps me from thinking about the bad things that happened in my life.  My motto since my first husband passed away has been “Keep moving forward.”  It is still what I have to do today.  I can’t sit and wallow in the past.  Even though my mind wants to relive every bad thing that has ever happened to me.    I rehearse what I should have said in an argument that is over.  Sometimes I have to snap myself out of those pity parties.  I have learned that it helps to go do something else when I find myself in the past.  Maybe it is like a flash back.  Some kind of post traumatic stress disorder.

I am still angry, but not as much.  I think time has helped.  Being removed by time from Travis’s death helps.  As I know from when Shan died.  Time is the only thing that has helped.  Not that I don’t want them here.  I would give anything to see them again.  I wouldn’t want them to be here and still be in pain.  They are on the other side.  Standing up tall and healthy.  Chatting about how the girls are growing up into beautiful young ladies.  That is how I have to think about them.  I don’t know how someone without faith can live on after the death of a loved one.  I know I will see them again.  If I have faith God will reunite them with me.