This is not my picture, but inspires me. I just had this thought.  When I was in the shower.  Now it’s gone.  I’ll just type until it comes back.  I was reading in a FB group about widows and widowers.  They were talking about premonitions. Strange things that happened before their husband or wife died.  One woman was talking about how her husband saw lots of butterflies before he died.  He called his wife to ask her if she was seeing them.  She said “Maybe I’ve seen a few today.”  He said “There are thousands of them everywhere.”  That was an hour before he died in a work accident.  I had to tear myself away from them to get in the shower.

Then when I was in the shower. I had this thought that all this happened to wear me down.  Not just my husbands deaths.  All the upsetting things that happened before.  Those things are what the devil used to make me……bitter. To make me sad.  To make me not the happy go lucky girl that I ….was?  I need to get back to her.  She was fun, bubbly and silly.  She was optimistic about the future.  She believed in love.  God wants me to be happy again.  In the second that I had that thought.  I felt lighter.  I felt like the old me.

I have to fight the devil with my happy thoughts.  The bad sinking thoughts are the work of the devil.  When I relive the arguments or the bad times in my head.  The devil is winning.  That can’t happen.  I need to think positive.  Looking to the future is the only way.  My motto after Shan died was to Keep Moving Forward.  That needs to continue to be my motto.  It needs to be the first thing I see in the morning.  I need a sign over my bed.  I need a sign in my class room.  God wants me to spread joy not hate.  May be my other motto needs to be “Think Happy Thoughts” from Peter Pan. It is one of my very favorite books.  It also made me think of the prayer to the Archangel Michael. “Michael the Archangel.  Defend us in battle.  Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil.  May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Hosts- by the Power of God, cast into hell satan and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world, seeking the ruin of souls. Amen” Thank you Michael for defending me from the devil.